My favorite time of the year

Fall is always my favorite time of the year not only because I get to bring out the warmer clothes for the cooling weather, but also because it's back to school time.

When I was a little kid, I loved going to Target to buy my back to school supplies. I treasured looking through and picking out the mechanical pencils, the erasers, etc. for school. I loved looking through the racks of notebooks and deciding which notebooks I would need for what classes. I loved picking out cool binders and folders and making sure that all the paper I bought was college and not wide rule.

When I got to college, I loved the beginning of the fall quarter because I felt a sense of hope, of newness, and excitement for the possibilities of what I might learn and the people I might meet in my new classes. The smell of the crisp fall air, combined with the brisk morning bike rides to campus always made me feel like I was a part of something that all students across America was also experiencing in one way or another.

The first weeks of class were also exciting because it felt like anything was possible. I was starting from nothing and getting an A was something I just had to study for. Tests, papers, late-night cram sessions, all the pain of taking classes seemed to not enter the equation because I was full of hope.

When I finally became a grad student and started teaching classes on my own, I still loved the excitement of the new school year because I saw the same excitement and hope in my students. I love the challenge of getting students excited to be in class and want to return to class every week. The possibilities were endless for my students - I could have a wonderful quarter, filled with smart students who worked hard and participated with intelligent comments every week because they came prepared. At the beginning of the school year I could dream these things and it could all happen.

So it's been a bit sad for me right now because I'm on leave this quarter, taking time off for the pregnancy. I recognize my over romanticized notion of the beginning of the school year. Yet I still want to believe that all of this is possible and at the end of the day, I am teaching because it matters and makes a difference in students' lives; that I can get them excited about being in school and learning; and that they too will eventually learn to love education so much that they inspire others to love education. I am totally being romantic about education, I know, but I can dream right?

My email has picked up the past couple of weeks because school started at Davis. I've been getting lots of emails about welcome events, beginning of the year departmental parties and gatherings. Former students have also been emailing me, especially the good ones that listened to my advise about keeping in touch with teachers and professors so when you need a letter of rec, you still have a current relationship in which to ask for the favor of a letter.

I really miss being in the classroom and prepping for sections. I don't miss grading papers or the commute. I miss the student emails asking intelligent questions about assignments. I miss office hours when I would get visits from the handful of smart students who figure out that it benefits them to visit me then. I miss being in the bookstore, looking through the required books from other classes. I miss checking my mailbox and seeing notes from students and other information about campus goings on. I miss running into friends, other grad students, lingering in the hallway or outside of a building, catching up on what summer was like and what their plans were for the quarter.

All of this, as romantic as it is, is how I know I am in the right profession. Despite the long and difficult journey that I've had up until this point, and the struggles that remain ahead with finishing my dissertation and interviewing for jobs, I know I am doing what I love. I'll take the good and the bad any day because every September, my hope and belief in education is renewed once again.