Secret Society of Women

I had dinner last Thursday with some good friends. It was one of those multi-purpose dinners where we were celebrating my belated bday, A's new job, and of course, finishing (or as N would like to say- surviving) the Nike Marathon. Mary and I got there early so we took the opportunity to get a drink at the bar. Nola's mojitos are pretty good and I was hungry so I gulped down my drink. By the time N and A showed up, I was ready for another drink.

As we waited to be seated, N remarked how we were all wearing our Nike Marathon necklaces. She said: it's like we're all in a sorority or something. We all laughed at the idea of being a part of a secret society of women.

As we sat down to dinner, I was thinking about how remarkable it is that all four of us finished the Nike Marathon. The necklace does in a way symbolize our shared accomplishment. This sense of shared experience is also special to me because we're all great friends who enjoy spending time together. I asked everyone if they were interested in running it again next year. Mary was excited but N and A were less so. I think I'd be interested in doing it again simply because running through SF in that way was amazing and seeing all the other people do it was encouraging and energizing. Even though I know that some or maybe a lot of women are doing it for the Tiffany's-designed finisher necklace, at least they are contributing to the efforts of raising awareness about blood cancer.

I was also thinking about whether or not I'd come back to TNT as a mentor. As I said before I'm trying to make it out to trainings for the rest of the season, but coming back as a mentor is another thing I'm not so sure about. One thing I've noticed about the organization is that, at least on the Peninsula team, the group isn't very diverse. I would love to see more diversity in participants and honorees especially to tell their stories. I know people of color get blood cancer because I've already had so many personal experiences with family and friends who are Asian American that were diagnosed. The only time I saw minority faces was in the honoree handout at the pasta party in which different chapters submitted information about their honorees.

It would be great to also acknowledge that there are poor people and people who can't afford treatment or don't know how to access health care because they are undocumented, are uninsured, or don't speak English good enough to get care, that get blood cancer as well. How are TNT funds helping them on a day to day basis if they aren't connected to in some way or know about TNT's cause? We can't neglect those folks because the uncertainties that come with being disadvantaged make the suffering so much more difficult to bear. Being born into disadvantaged situations shouldn't mean that diagnosis, treatment, and survival is significantly limited because of the race and class. I'm not just talking about poor or disadvantaged people of color, I am also talking about white folks as well. After all, whites comprise the greatest number on welfare (not blacks as some erroneously believe). How are we helping folks of all walks of life and diverse backgrounds survive?

First post-marathon run

I've been dying to go on a run since the marathon. My recovery was surprisingly fast. I was sore for the rest of Sunday, a little sore with mainly my right knee hurting on Monday, and by Tuesday I wasn't sore at all.

So I went on my first post-marathon run this afternoon right before my usual Sunday night volleyball game in Sunnyvale. I ran East on Alvarado-Niles, turned in to Arroyo Park by Quarry Lake and then ran back home. One hour time, about a five mile run. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

It felt really good to be back outside running after so long. I was beginning to feel really bleh and lumpy again. I even got a a honk from a car full of guys on the way out. How inappropriate, but flattering at the same time! After my run D and I went down to Sunnyvale to play in our volleyball game. I felt really warmed up and played pretty well after running about 5 miles.

I'm still pretty bit by the running bug, which is something I never thought would happen. Mary and I decided we want to try to get in at least one more half-marathon in before the end of the season. T asked me to do the Turkey Trot with him on the 17th of November. He says there is a 5K and 10K option. If I can make it work, I'm definitely going to do it since I can't make the Vegas Marathon on the 3rd of December work in my schedule. Hopefully I can make it back to training this week. I really miss it. Is there such a thing as post-marathon depression??

Marathon Day - part 2

As soon as we wrapped around Union Square, Mary and I saw all the runners before us. The scene was amazing - a sea of heads for about 3 blocks before they made their first turn. I couldn't believe I was taking part in this amazing gathering of 27,000 runner and who knows how many spectators, volunteers, etc. all in once place!

Unfortunately, we had waited so long that the feeling of need to go potty came back. I was hoping it was just nerves in my stomach, but as I approached the park before the Embarcadero, it was inevitable that I would need to go to the bathroom. Argh! I saw a porta-potty at the corner of my right eye and bid farewell to Mary. I told her to have a great run and that we'd find each other at the finish line. She waved as I darted through an endless flow of runners. Mary disappeared into the sea of moving bodies within seconds and I was officially alone.

A lone porta-potty stood at the corner of Washington St. and Davis St. (?) and 6 women and 1 man was already standing in line. I thought for a second about looking for another porta-potty, but I decided it would be better just to get it over with so I could the rest of my run. An band of musicians were playing some African-sounding music as we all stood waiting. At least a dozen people came by, saw the line or got in line, gave up, and left in search of another potty opportunity down the road. By the time I finished, about 15 minutes had passed and the realization of being alone set in.

I ran back into the crowd and didn't see any familiar faces. I focused on running.

I don't have much memory of the first 5 or 6 miles of the run except that I saw Coach Amy, Robin and Dave somewhere along Fisherman's Wharf. I think I just focused on running and getting past slow people who were either walking or running in "walls" on the left side (how annoying). So it was really amazing that I saw them because there were tons of people. I think I also remembered to smile when I saw them, which helped me loosen up a bit too. I was stressed out and alone running through the initial pain and soreness and automatically breaking out in a smile when Ii saw them washed all of it away. I also remember one of the coaches reminding us at Send-off to enjoy the run, look around, take a picture or two - a experience of running your first marathon is a once in a lifetime thing. From Fisherman's Wharf on, I seem to have many more memories about the race.

I noticed that I ran with about the same pack of people most of the way. I recall seeing the same woman with a yellow windbreaker through Krissy Field... the guy with puffy paint on the back of his TNT running shirt that said "I miss you grandpa"... the Asian woman with a beautiful brown tan that sped walked about the same pace as I ran through the last part of Fisherman's Wharf and through the waterfront... the young blond from Utah through the first and second hill... the women with silver and green metallic wigs on for the first big downhill after the Presidio... I guess we were around the same pace and things didn't really change until we got to our first big hill at the Presidio. The heads bounced significantly less as everyone slowed to a walking pace. I attacked the first part of the hill and then decided to walk to conserve my energy.

I also played this game to distract me from my fatigue. I looked for official marathon photographers and each time I saw them I ran toward them, got my biggest smile ready and waved at them. I got some great pictures this way (see pic) . Runners were taking pictures on their cell phones at various points as well: at Marina Green in front of the beautiful sail boats and Golden Gate Bridge in the background, at the top of the crazy Presidio hill when we first saw Golden Gate Bridge, after the second big downhill at Clement St. before we came to Seal Rock, and then right after Seal Rock at the Cliff House, and when the view of Ocean Beach made two women running by me lose their breath and gasp: what is that? It's SO beautiful!

I responded: that's Ocean Beach.
Them: silence.
Me: (realizing the redundancy and the lack of description of the name "Ocean Beach") you see the tents over there? That's the finish area.
Them: Oh, yay! That's the finish line! We're almost there! Yaaaaay!

The second crazy downhill was the last stretch of Clement St. That short four or five block stretch nearly killed my legs and feet from the pounding on the cement. My feet began to feel funny. Coming over the decline at Seal Rock, I knew the end was in sight. All I had to do was do the last two miles through the West portion of Golden Gate Park and I would be done with my first half- marathon. I didn't realize it but the hardest part was yet to come.

Seal Rock was about mile 9 or 10. I had been sending text messages to D starting around mile 7/km 10. When I sent him the text at the Cliff House, I was SO excited knowing I was almost done. As I came down on Great Highway, my calves began to really hurt from all the pounding on the pavement. The arch of my right foot felt like pins and needles and my upper thighs were also beginning to feel sore. My body was beginning to revolt (see pic of me in pain).

I approached the bandstand area and tons of people were there cheering the runners on. I made my best effort to smile and look like I was enjoying my run while my body ached in places I'd never felt through the training season before. My eyes darted through the crowd looking for D and my parents. They were nowhere to be found. As I made the turn into JFK, the windmill reminded me of the course preview run I did several weeks back. In retrospect, that was one of the best decisions I made; running a preview of the course gave me a clear idea of what parts of the course would be like. I knew the run through GGP would be easy. I just needed to stay strong because mile 11 was coming up.

Mile 11 was probably the worst part of the run for me. I was extremely exhausted and thirsty. The powerade in my sports bottle wasn't quenching my thirst anymore and I wanted to hurl my sports bottle at someone because after 10 miles, I didn't want to carry it anymore. My legs began to really, really hurt. As I approached the chocolate mile between mile 11 and 12, I had to stop and stretch. My legs felt sore and tired as I stretched them out. I looked at my watch and I was already behind 15 minutes from the bathroom detour, not I would be behind even more. Chocolate was the last thing on my mind and the thought of eating chocolate was actually quite disgusting at that moment. I felt really weak and needed to find a way to run strong through the last mile or so.

I mustered some strength after 2 or 3 minutes of stretching and took off once again. I had to finish this race no matter what. The last mile seemed like it took me forever to run. After the chocolate mile, I ran through the Nikeplus tent which was just what I needed to finish. At the moment I ran through, "American Idiot" by Green Day was blasting and I got energized. Several runners yelled as they ran through the tent so I decided to also let out a big yell to let out some stress from the pain. This worked really well and in the last stretch of mile 13, I saw a bunch of volunteers from Lowell High School (my alma mater). I yelled "Go Lowell!" and the entire group of kids enthusiastically cheered me back. The end was near.

I saw the end of GGP and the crowd began to thicken. As I passed through the break back onto Great Highway, I was caught myself off guard as I was overcome with a rush of emotion. The finish line was insight and I couldn't believe I was about to finish this race. I lost my breath and wanted to start sobbing as I turned out of the park onto Great Highway. Conscious of all the photographer and people cheering me on, I decided against breaking down in tears of joy, though I felt the back of my throat tighten up and breathing became difficult.

As I regained composure, I slowed down my pace. I looked hard through the crowd on the right side for D and my parents. I couldn't find them and realized that I would not be able to delay my finish anymore. I strode into the finish line and took a second to thank J for being with me and giving me strength through this run. (I wrote on my shirt that I was running in his memory.)

The rest of the finish line was a blur because I was so physically and mentally exhausted. I don't entirely remember the sequence of things but have bits and pieces of memory. I remember someone handing me a metallic blanket and then another person handed me a bottle of water. I walk over to a bunch of students sitting on stools, cutting off time chips. Alice, who was the young lady that figured out how to get my chip off my tangled laces was great. I remember reaching for the Tiffany's box and some guy in a tux congratulating me on finishing. I remember someone handing me some Luna Bars and another hand gave me a banana. I went into a tent to get my finisher tshirt. I overheard a voice saying to someone that the tshirts were running small. I somehow found a large half-marathon tshirt and then walked out the tent.

Then nothing but another sea of faces. Finishers, family, friends all hugging, laughing, talking. A woman stood in the middle of it all and yelled for TNT finishers to check out at the TNT tent. I quickly scanned the area around me and still no familiar faces. Where was everyone?? I tried to send a text message to D but the sending failed. Somehow I found Mary standing in front of the TNT tent. She told me to go into the tent to check out and I wander in, dazed and confused. After checking out I am directed to the buffet of sandwiches, cookies, chips, and fruit. I really don't want to eat but I took it anyway.

Where is everyone???

Finally, a text message from D: r u done yet? Oh no. They missed me at the finish. I try to text back: at TNT tent. All I could do was wait. Our friends, M and R showed up to congratulate us at the finish line so we all took pictures and talked as I stretched out. My legs were killing me now. Before long, M spots D and we are all reunited. It turns out that they were standing on the left side of the finish line and missed me. They are disappointed but there is nothing I can do at this point.

We all chat and talk but all I want to do is to get back to the hotel room to shower and crash. I still cannot believe that I've completed my run. My legs are screaming in soreness by now and they verify that I have finished even though my brain is still in disbelief. Even on the shuttle ride back to the hotel I feel dazed. I nod off as the shuttle driver seems to take forever to get back to the hotel. I come to and we are crossing Stockton. My eyes are sore and dry. In my hazy state I look around: Mary is asleep in the seat next to me. Somehow it slowly sinks in: I am done.

Marathon Morning Madness!

4 am.

The hotel wake-up call comes at 4 am. The room is pitch dark and I feel like I just fell asleep. Perhaps I shouldn't have stayed awake writing my last post. Time to wake up. Buried under my blanket, I hear Mary get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I doze off again.

The light incessantly creeps under my eyelids and forces me to wake up. Mary comes out of the bathroom and unfortunately it is my turn. My legs drag my upper body out of the bed and I trudge into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like crap and I feel even worse. I am so tired. Much of my sleep wasn't really sleep. Lying in bed, my body went through cycles of dozing off, waking up to various sounds (including Mary snoring) and turning over, all repeating in various permutations. As I look at my face in the mirror, my stomach begins to feel strange. This feeling must be race day nerves.

I get ready in a daze... toothbrush... sports bra... teal and green striped socks... time chip tied onto my left shoe... emergency tag on the right shoe... eat banana... light purple pace time bracelet on my left wrist... mix two parts Powerade with one part water in water bottle... eat dulce de leche Luna bar... cell phone, driver's license, cash, hotel room key and energy gummies in waist pack... garbage bag... out the door... into the elevator... in the lobby...

The first people Mary and I see in the lobby are our mentors, Robin and Dave, and our coaches from the Mid-Pen team, Coach Amy and Coach Chris. We are so lucky to see them on our way out. As we are walking toward them, suddenly I need to go to the bathroom. As I say hi and good morning to them, I see the bathroom and begin to head that way. At that moment I hear Coach Amy ask Mary: "Did you guys go out drinking last night???" I crack up as we enter the bathroom and the nerves begin to kick in a little bit more.

The trip was unsatisfying but helpful in getting to wake up a little bit more. I am still in a daze. Once we get back to the lobby, everyone hurries us out to the shuttles. It is 530a and we were supposed to be at the starting line at 5am. Oops, but what's the big deal? The race doesn't start until 7am, right?

We get in line for the bus and while we wait, we tear holes in our respective the garbage bag to stick our head through. We both decide not to make arm holes because it's too cold so we become walking plastic bags. Another runner, a young Asian woman, tells us we look hot. We both laugh and shuffle onto the shuttle wearing our garbage bags. People are smiling at us and I smile back as I notice there are no other human plastic bags sitting on the bus.

Mary and I get to the back of the bus and the sarcastic young Asian woman ends up there with us. She cracks jokes all the way out to Union Square and helps keep everyone in lively spirits. I hear her say: "yeah between ass and flab running in front of me, I'd rather have ass... yeah I'd take extra ba-donka-donk anytime." I crack up.

The shuttle stops in front of the Nikko Hotel and bodies begin to shuffle into ready position. After pausing a moment too long, the shuttle lurches into reverse and I hear moans and groans. I am beginning to feel motion sick. The driver seems to be lost. He is following a street sweeper and next thing I know, we are on Market Street, past the Union Square starting line. I hear the sarcastic voice behind me again: "yo, if the driver doesn't make the next turn, we're gonna be in Chinatown buying some chicken... and you know there's gonna be chicken to buy because my people... we're up this early and have lots of chicken to sell ya... my people work mighty hard..."

Fortunately, the shuttle makes the turn but then doesn't make the next correct turn. Everyone who is familiar with downtown San Francisco grumbles. I hear sarcastic voice: "Chickens..." Everyone in the back is cracking up again. The bus suddenly stops on some unknown street. We all cheer the driver. As we file out of the shuttle, people are going every which way. There doesn't seem to be any order but I realize we are right off of Geary, which the street where our starting position is. Mary follows me as we walk down Geary. We pass by all the volunteer buses and I notice they are filled with mainly young Asian Americans. I can tell they are all high schoolers. Groups of them begin to cheer us on as we pass by. I smile at them and feel happy because they have given their Sunday morning to supporting us through this event. I haven't met youth this eager to volunteer at 6am in a long time. My heart feels warm with hope.

We get to Union Square and the chaos and disorder continues. No one seems to know where to wait or stand and since it is so cold, people are moving around to keep warm. Some are jogging in place, some are stretching, others are huddled, but Mary and I decide to sit on some steps behind a low wall to hide from the crisp wind. An omniscient voice crackles to life and echoes across the square. Mary and I decide to walk around to try to find the origin of the voice. I am envisioning a grandstand of sorts but we never find the omniscient voices. We give up, walk to another low wall and huddle together for warmth.

I call D to see where he and my parents are. It is 615 and they are late. D answers and tells me that the Muni is doing construction in the West Portal tunnel. No trains going in and out but there are shuttle buses going downtown. They have to wait and aren't sure that they are going to make it. I get sad for a moment because they are going to miss out on witnessing this massive craziness.

Mary and I decide it's time to move towards our starting position. It's 630am and runners are beginning to line up. It's easy to spot family and friends amidst the chaos. They are the only ones who are warmly dressed in jeans and jackets. They have cameras, signs, and either a tall or grande cup of Starbucks in their hands.

Mary and I throw off our garbage bags and head out into the organized chaos. At that moment, my cell phone rings and it is D. He is a block away. I am ecstatic that they made it. I find them coming around the corner of Stockton and Geary and they are smiling at me. My mom gives me a huge hug and D takes a picture. My parents look so proud of me. As D is snapping away, more runners begin to move into the crowd. D takes some pictures of Mary and me in the crowd but I tell D and my parents that they should move to the top of Union Square to get a better view of the runners that by now have begun to wrap themselves around Union Square.

The elite runners start at 645am and we hear the horn go off. The excitement builds in the air as Mary and I are in the first wave of runners to head to the start. The sun still isn't up yet but by now Union Square is completely filled with excited faces. If you haven't been to the beginning of a massive marathon, I highly recommend you do it at least once in your life because the energy is crazy. With 27,000 or so people this morning, the energy level is off the charts. Even as we stand around, everyone is in good spirits. I am expecting some pushing to begin as the clock approaches 7am but nothing happens. The omniscient voices seemed to be doing a good job at keeping the crowd excited and energetic.

I keep going on my tiptoes to see if the front of the crowd was moving at all. All I see is a mass of heads with running caps on. Mary is shivering and getting antsy. Oh no, I begin to feel like going to the bathroom again but shrug it off as nerves. It will go away once I start running and warming up. I get up on my tiptoes and look again. Finally, I hear the omniscient voices say: "30 seconds!" The crowd erupts in applause and cheering. Then the voices count down: "5, 4, 3, 2, 1! The race has officially begun!"

The funny thing is there was no sprinting out of the starting line or rush of runners heading out. We all just stood there, waiting for the front of the crowd to move. It was a bit anticlimactic actually. I got up on my tiptoes several more times and nothing. It was probably about 715am before we actually started moving forward. The way the mass of people moved forward together was amazing. Everyone was so civil and patient. No pushing whatever, though there were some people weaving to try to get moving along faster. We all started walking and then as soon as there was enough space, the crowd began to pick up speed. About 20 feet before the starting line, heads began to bounce up and down into a slow jog. The omniscient voice told us to shout the name of someone who we were running in honor of as we passed through the starting line. I exhaled by accident at that moment and couldn't get anything out of my lungs but a semi-loud guttural yell. After I passed through the starting line, all I could hear was the pounding of feet to the pavement. 730am. The marathon had finally begun.

(Thanks to D for all the fantastic pictures!)

Night before jitters

I really can’t believe that it’s the night before the marathon. This moment seemed so far away when I went to my first TNT info meeting with Mary. Everything has been so exciting for the past couple of days. I think things started to hit me last Thursday when we came in to SF early for ladies’ night, to pick up our race packet. The expo was set up in the middle of Union Square and was crazy. It was such a beautiful SF evening that all the crazy women running around at the expo made the scene quite surreal. I think many of them were there for the same reason Mary and I were: we wanted to win those Tiffany diamond earrings. A pair was raffled off every hour and Mary and I were determined to win some. Unfortunately for us, we couldn’t get there any earlier than 730p so the changes of winning were slim. We got in on the last drawing but I wasn’t feeling very lucky that evening. I just had such a long day, I was feeling tired, and I just didn’t have the right attitude. Having gone through months of training for this marathon, if there is one thing I realize, so many things depend on the attitude one has. That night, I was more cranky than excited, but somewhat relieved the be able to pick up my packet early.

I headed over to J and B’s that evening to watch the Rutgers/USF football game. J is an alum and a huge fan so every time a Rutgers game was televised, D and I would automatically get invited. I arrived late, to cold pizza, but happy to see everyone. D had brought Obi over to get some doggie play time in with Jasmine, their super-cute corgie so when I walked through the front door, both doggies were excited to greet me. My stress began to wash away when I saw their wagging tails and cute smiles.

I took out my race packet and looked through everything. I was amazed to find so many freebies and giveaways. A set of hair ties, coupons for Macy’s and Jamba Juice, a pack of granola, and a pack of some yummy energy gummies. I realized what participating in a huge event organized by Nike was really all about- corporate power. I pulled out my bib and looked at my number and felt happy and excited. The doggies were curious about my race pack too and they inspected all the free stuff I showed them with a good sniffing.

Sleeping in this morning was terrific. Even though I only slept in a couple of hours, it was enough to compensate for all the tossing and turning I did last night. It was a warmed than usual evening so D opened the window after the rain stopped. I know how much he likes a cool breeze to come through the room in the evening so I didn’t say anything about it being somewhat loud. Even though I had my ear plugs in, I kept waking up. Several times I was too hot, another time I thought I heard Obi whimper and D comfort him only to turn over and see a lump still sleeping next to me in bed, and other times I just woke up for no particular reason. I think I was beginning to “feel” the race closing in.

We made it out to Union Square to catch the tail end of the expo. Mary wanted to go buy a poster at Niketown with all 27,000 names of runners on it. So we went over to Niketown as the Expo was closing for the day. It wasn’t until we got to the TNT Pasta Party that reality began to really set in. As we turned the corner and approached Moscone Center North, we heard cheering, yelling, bright purple, costumes, hats, noisemakers, and shouting coming from inside the hall. The TNT staff, coaches, captains, and mentors made a tunnel for all pasta party attendees to walk through as they cheered and applauded us. The feeling was a bit weird but remarkable indeed. I have never experienced anything like that before. D remarked that this was probably a taste of what tomorrow would be like. I smiled in anticipation.

The cheering line continued at the bottom of the escalator which took us to the main hall for the buffet. The amount of enthusiasm and energy was amazing. Becky some how saw us and came running up to us on the side line. It was great to see a familiar face in the sea of TNT strangers. We entered the main banquet hall and saw a sea of tables. D reminded me that there was supposed to be 5000 people at the party tonight. We went through the line to get our unremarkable salad, pasta, steamed veggies and bread. The food was probably the biggest low point of the evening but what can you expect when catering is making food for 5000? Not quality!

As we walked over to the section marked by yellow balloons (we were told this is where our team would be seated), I noticed people wearing tshirts from all over the US: Wisconsin, Minnesota, New York, Arizona… it was amazing to see so many people from so many different parts of the country! All the New Yorkers were wearing foam statue of liberty crowns and they were a loud bunch. The speakers were funny and inspiring and at the end of the night, I finally began to get nervous.

Now that I am back in my hotel room, I am full on energy and am not ready for sleep. Mary is already knocked out but here I am writing away. In less than 7 hours, I’ll be up and getting myself out to the marathon. For the first time, I am scared and I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it. People keep on asking me if I’m ready and I am, but right at this moment I’m not. I don’t know what it’s going to be like tomorrow morning, expect that the sun won’t be up yet and I’ll be wearing a garbage bag to keep warm before the race. The rest is… well, I have no idea. For now, I think I should at least get ready for bed. Perhaps my energy will come down enough to get some sleep. Perhaps.

Nike Marathon Send-Off

I went to the Nike send-off party at Sports Basement in Sunnyvale last night and it was great! I can't believe that the marathon is finally here. Looking back at the entire season, I am so surprised at how everything turned out - especially the fact that I survived and actually enjoy running. I saw my mentors Dave and Robin there and took the opportunity to tell them what great mentors they have been. Overall, I have been really impressed with the TNT experience. I was a little concerned about how things would turn out because TNT is such a big organization that handles lots of money. I'm used to falling through the crack with those kinds of organizations, but everyone at TNT has and continues to do a wonderful job with giving attention to each and every person. Geez, I kinda sound like a TNT commercial!

The running part has been incredibly satisfying. I have been thinking a lot about how I can continue training and running. I definitely want to continue going to training even after Nike is done. I have gotten so used to the training schedule that I think it would feel weird not to continue following it in some form.

D and I have been kicking around the idea of not playing volleyball on Sunday evening anymore and switching to Thursday nights. The Sunnyvale league has been great but D brought up a great point- playing Sunday nights breaks up the weekend, which should be spent in rest and recovery Sunday night. Sundays nights aren't that big of a deal for me because I have school on Monday and a couple of other days away from school during the week, but I know D enjoys his Sunday nights before the work week begins. We haven't given up volleyball but we are seriously thinking about our options.

I suggested we take up another sport together. D suggested I play golf with him more or we take up bicycling. I think it's difficult to find things to do with your partner because schedules, physical abilities, and the degree of enjoyment are all factors and motivators for whether both people can actually "do" a sport together. Golf is fun but I can't play on a course at all. I can hang at a driving range real well. In fact, I can consistently hit a golf ball straight and at certain distances but on a course, I suck big time. The only problem is that the best way to improve playing on a course is to do just that - play on more courses. I just feel bad for the people who have to play with me and the foursomes who are before/after us because I know I'd hit the ball all over the place. As for biking, that sounds like a possibility. I have a tendency to be a bit of a reckless bicyclist so I probably need to go out and buy a bike helmet.

Aside from taking on other sports, I have been reflecting a lot on why I enjoy running so much. Before I said my favorite part was the stretching afterwards. While I still do enjoy that, I think I like the sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing a run. That feeling of finishing something that was both mentally and physically challenging is really fulfilling. As a PhD student, it is difficult to see results from all the studying, writing, and work I do. So much of grad school is based on delayed gratification! With running, I can feel the joys of accomplishing a small victory just by running something like 10 miles. I know that I've accomplished my goal because my body will hurt and my brain will be tired. There is no doubt that I've achieved something, even if it is small, because I'll be back at my car, sweaty, chugging down Powerade and eating my banana. No one can take that away from me. With grad school, I write papers and teach classes, but I'm never really sure if I've done something that means anything to anyone, even to me. Professors are there and they give feedback but no one can really understand what I'm thinking or what I'm trying to accomplish with my research. Students almost never tell me how they truly feel; they just want to know what it'll take to get a good grade in my class. I know it sounds strange, but the feeling of accomplishment I get from running balances out my unusual life as a grad student.

Stop! Taper Time!

I probably just severely dated myself with the blog title above! For those of you who grew up in the 80s and loved MC Hammer (ain't no shame), you'll get the reference...

Well, ladies and gentlemen... it's officially the week before the Nike marathon. Tapering of running and working out usually begins the week before for half-marathoners, and two weeks before for full marathoners. I am happy to begin this stretch of tapering because my body has been working hard and is ready for a rest.

Today's long run was in San Francisco. It rained like cats and dogs yesterday so I knew that SF would be beautiful today. It's always amazingly sunny the day after a huge rain in SF for some reason. The sun was shining and the air was crisp and clean in the morning. Half-marathoners had to run only 6 miles today, which would be no sweat for me. I wasn't nervous about the run at all and after Woodside two weekends ago, I know I can run anything as long as I stay mentally strong.

The run was beautiful- I went down Sunset Blvd. and under the Lincoln overpass. I think turned left down MLK, Jr. Drive and headed out to the beach at Great Highway. Then I turned back up Great Highway and ran back to the starting point at the Lake Merced parking lot. I arrive a couple of minutes late so I missed my wave and ran pretty much by myself the entire way. People were out enjoying the sun: walking their dogs, pushing strollers and taking their little kids to the Zoo, bicycling, and surfing. It was awesome to see so many people out and about!

I hadn't run Sunset Blvd. or Great Highway in a very long time so the entire run was very nostalgic. I remember running out at Great Highway in high school and walking along Sunset Blvd. all those years I made my own way home from junior high and high school. I remember how lonely the stretch of Sunset Blvd. seemed then, as I often walked by myself back home.

My ankle is getting better. I talked to Coach Chris and Dan about it and they gave me some good advise. I think I also figured out a more comfortable way for me to run today too. I find that if I sway my hips more and move my legs as if they are pendulums, anchored into my hips, my strides are longer and stronger. I don't know if this is necessarily true or if I was just enjoying my run today, but it seemed to work. I'm going to have to keep track of this theory.

I neglected to mention that D gave me a third gen iPod Nano for my birthday. I was super excited because I was thinking about getting one because it's so small and light, I can strap in onto my arm during a run. He got me a red one too- which is awesome because the red ones are a part of the Product Red (tm) efforts to help end AIDS in Africa.

I've been shuffling my songs as I did before and I noticed something curious. Both my Nano and my older MP3 player consistently shuffles in "Mary Jane" by Rick James. Without fail, every time I run, it comes on! It's so funny how that works. This morning, my Nano shuffled out some of these songs:

The Fabulous Ones (Blackalicious)
I Melt With You (Jason Mraz)
Santeria (Sublime)
Try! (John Mayer)
Brokenhearted (Brandy)
I Turn To You (Melanie C)
Warning Sign (Coldplay)
Wrong (Everything But the Girl)
They Say (Common)
Chorus (Erasure)
and of course.... Mary Jane (Rick James)

7 days and counting!

Stomach, knee, ankle and other bodily pains

Last week was such a weird week. We had an OYO (on your own) Saturday so no long run, the first full week of school came on like gangbusters, and my body just manifested all these aches and pains. I ended up not working out at all last week to give my body time to recover from the 14 mile trauma I inflicted on myself at Woodside. First, after Woodside, my legs, especially my left knee and ankle hurt in new ways. A sharp pain under my kneecap would come on every time I straightened my left leg. Then, a dull pain under the left side and along some deep and hidden muscle on the right side, going up my leg started. My ankle still has the dull pain and on top of that, it now feels weak.

Then, at 3a last Mon, sharp pains in my stomach came on. They're weird pains, but they are always the same: sharp, strongly recurring pains in the upper part of my stomach. The pains come in waves serious enough that I have to stop what I'm doing and take a breath or sit down. The best semi-comfortable position is lying down only because I can curl up into the fetal position when the pains come on! These pains were also really similar to the ones I had in June but not as severe. I didn't want to miss the first day of the week so I forced myself to go to school. Boy did I suffer on the train ride up to and back from Davis! All the docs I've seen think it's acid reflux but I don't think it is. I've researched acid reflux and all the related illnesses such as ulcers, heartburn, gall stones, pancreatitis, and nothing seems to quite fit. Unfortunately, the medication my doc gave me from June (Famotidine), along with a combination of Tums, Pepto, and Tagamet all made no difference whatsoever. The pains didn't subside until Wednesday.

I joked to D last Tuesday night that my stomach pains were probably psycho-somatic. I didn't really want to be back in school so my body was revolting. I told him, every time I got up off the couch to go to the office to get some work done, the pains would start coming back. The pains would go away when I'd return to the couch and go back to watching the Eureka marathon on the SciFi channel (I'm a total scifi geek) with Obi. D thought that was funny.

The knee pains have gone away, and so have the stomach pains. The ankle pains are ever-present. I went to the gym tonight thinking that my ankle would be okay (I felt a little guilty about bailing out on a workout with T this afternoon because my ankle was feeling weak again). When I started going on the treadmill my ankle didn't feel that great, even after I hit my usual 2 mile stride. I just ignored it and got through the rest of the run. Even as I was trying to enjoy my favorite part - my post run stretch - my ankle was trembling as I moved into different stretches. I'm going to see how I feel and mention it to Coach Dan tomorrow at track training if it still feels weird.

On a totally non-bodily pains topic.... D and I spent Saturday afternoon in Union Square in SF. That was so fun. We haven't just wasted time, shopping and wandering around in so long. D suggested we go to Niketown and initially I didn't have any feelings about it. I'm not really a big Nike person in general. I think I'm more of an Adidas gal myself, so when he mentioned Niketown, I was in a purely tag-along frame of mind. When I got there, however, I got super excited! On display was all this Nike Marathon gear!!! I picked out all this stuff that I'm going to get after I finish the race. Awesome, I can't wait!

Just 12 more days.... I hope my body can hold up.

14 miles!

I woke up Sunday morning with one thing on my mind - to solve the mystery of how much I ran on Saturday in Woodside. My body was extremely stiff and my legs were a bit uncooperative as I tried to get out of bed. I play volleyball in a league at the Sunnyvale Rec center Sunday nights so I knew I would be in for a rough time for my game that night too. The fear of not being able to play volleyball made me jump around to make sure my body was working after I got out of bed. I would only be able to assess my condition as the day progressed.

As I brushed my teeth, I sat in front of my computer and looked up this cool website I found out about through the East Bay/Bayside TNT team: www.gmap-pedometer.com You should check it out because it's a neat app that can track distance and calories burned. So I figured out exactly where I ran to using the map and satellite functions. I plotted out the path and came up with this http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=1362950 I was shocked at how much I had run - about 14 miles. No wonder I was so tired and my legs were totally killing me. Instead of running 10, I ended up running 14! The only thing good about this was that I knew I would be able to finish the Nike Half with no problems at all. I guess there are good things that come from getting lost.

How many miles did I run???

Saturday's long run was at Woodside. Since I missed he first long run at Woodside, I had no idea what the run would be like. Unfortunately for me, I like being a lemming when I run so I don't have to look out for arrows, street names, and other directionals. Running in a pack enables me to not think about where I'm running, only that I am running, that I need to watch where I step, and my breathing/form are all good. My desire to be a lemming got me into big trouble this Saturday.

Mary and I got to the rendezvous about 815a, 15 minutes before our start time at 830a. It was really cold and instead of listening to Coach Dan when he was going through the course, I tried to keep myself warm by bouncing up and down. Big mistake. We all took off after a rousing GO TEAM! About 3-4 ladies ducked into Zanotti's (a market) to go to the bathroom, so I decided I should also do so. I decided not to wait for the others in line at the bathroom so I ran downstairs and tried to catch up with the earlier pack. I came out onto Woodside Road and didn't see anyone at all. Oh well, I thought, I guess I'm going to have to do this on my own.

I was feeling brave, so I took off running. The cold morning air was actually quite refreshing. I was vigilant (or so I thought) about looking for the arrows but somehow, I missed the first turn at Albion. I continued running down Woodside Road until there was no path left to run. I thought that this was unusual because it seemed unsafe for a bunch of people to run where there was no path, dirt or concrete. I decided to turn around at the bend, where the path ceased, and to retrace my steps in order to find that stupid arrow.

After running back six or seven blocks, I was lucky I spotted the arrow at Albion because it wasn't on the path, as arrows usually were placed. It was on the street, hiding behind a log! Relieved, I took off running up Albion. The feeling of loneliness began to set in as I struggled to make it up Albion. The incline winded me partially because I didn't feel warmed up enough for a hill, slight as it was. There was a long stretch without any directional arrows so I started getting worried about missing a turn again. At the bend at the top of Albion, I was convinced I had missed a turn so once again, I doubled back. I remembered Coach Dan saying that there wouldn't be any hills in this course so at the fork at bottom of the hill, I decided to take the right side of the fork because it was flatter. The side ended up being someone's driveway where two nice golden retrievers came to greet me with sloppy, playful smiles.

I ran up Albion again and ran out to Canada. Finally, I was at a familiar part of the course. I ran this part of Canada that goes under 280S with Jane, a Mentor, on an early buddy run, when I ran my first 4 miles. I continued up Canada and onto Runnymeade. This part of the run was probably the longest and loneliest because while Runnymeade was a straight shot to the water stop, I ran it completely alone. Parts of Runnymeade that ran along the 280S were sandy and made my calves burn. I was already tired and having trouble keeping my 6/2 intervals together. To make things worse, the sun came out and the cool air changed to a really nice warm day. With my overheating issues, a nice day like this was actually really bad for me. I really didn't think I was going to be able to make it through this run.

Towards the end of Runnymeade, I bumped into a Captain (I can't remember her name), who also ducked into Zanotti's for the bathroom break. I was so relieved to see her. We chatted for a little bit and she encouraged me to push on, that I was almost at the water stop. This was just enough encouragement to get me to there. I made it and drank several cups of water. I was hot and tired and wanted to just head straight back to the starting point. One mile out and back from the water stop was all that was standing the way. I thought- 2 miles, easy. I can do this. No problem. So I took off again, running further and further from the starting point.

One of the crucial things I missed by not paying attention in the morning was that I needed to turn around BEFORE the crazy hills after the water stop. Everything before the hills would be about a mile. Since I didn't hear this, I kept running, looking for turn around arrows. The rolling hills made my thighs burn so that both my legs were pretty much burning all over now.

I knew I had gone too far when I hit this section I call the "yellow brick road." This section was kind of sad actually. From what I could figure out, a grandfather placed a long path of bricks into the steep path and painted the bricks yellow for a grandchild who passed away. There was a message at the beginning of the bricks indicating that this was the yellow brick road that the grandchild always dreamed of. I ran up this section and when I got to the top, only to see more rolling hills, I decided to turn around and head back. I was running on empty, sore as hell, hot, craving some ice cold water, and was running alone again. No one passed me in this last section at all. Was I last runner??

By this point, my intervals completely fell apart. I walked most of the stretch back to the water stop. When I got there, the volunteers were packing up. I knew I was probably the last one back. I was tempted to ask for a ride back, but didn't out of pride. I didn't want to be the one driven back because I got lost. So I pushed on. I knew that as long as I got back out to Canada that it would be a straight shot back to the starting point. So I pushed on.

Runnymeade was a sad stretch for me. I saw two other runners who were also trying to make their way back to the start. I learned that they were running 16 miles, which made me feel so slow. Their presence helped me get through Runnymeade as I was about to completely give up. They turned off at Olive Tree (the bend at Albion) and continued on their 16 mile run. I was left alone again.

I spotted a figure in white about half a mile ahead of me on Canada. I mustered up energy and because I didn't want to run alone anymore, caught up to the figure in white. It was the Captain I passed earlier! She told me that she had pretty much walked the entire run because she wasn't feeling very well. I knew that I had run way too much, probably a couple of mile more than 10 if I was only catching up to her now. I decided to walk the rest of the way back with her. We chatted about how difficult this run seemed to be for the both of us. And as we laughed about all the extra running I did, we saw the sign for the intersection of Canada and Woodside. We made it back.

Coming around the corner and back towards the starting point, it seemed like everyone was there cheering us on. Perhaps 30-40 people were standing in the parking lot clapping and cheering. While they seemed happy for us, I was downright embarrassed about being the last one back. We slowly walked back in and were received with enthusiasm. I looked at my watch and realized that I wouldn't have enough time to get cleaned up at Mary's and make it to SJSU for a series of workshops I was to give by 1p. I would not be able to get the rest I was hoping for.

Mary and I took off and headed out. Her workshop was at 2p so she had a little bit more time. My legs were screaming in pain as I slowly got cleaned up at Mary's. I hobbled down the stairs of her apartment and got in the car. Thanks to N, who started the session off with an ice breaker to buy me the extra five minutes I needed, I made it. I gave two back to back workshops on Leadership and Integrity to students attending a Leadership conference at SJSU. I think both sessions were well-received, even though I was exhausted. The adrenaline of standing up there and presenting somehow got me through and made my legs strong as I walked around the conference room.

This neverending day would not end until much later. After the sessions ended at 3p, I made my way back home to meet D. We had to go pick up some friends from the airport and drop Mochi, their dog we've been dog sitting, back home. After having dinner and hearing about how their honeymoon went when we got back to their home, I didn't get into bed until about 930p. Sleep was completely deep, dream-free and still. I could not remember the last time I slept that soundly. I still didn't know how many miles I ran in total but it didn't matter at that point. All my body wanted was to crash and be dead to the world.