I was reading an article online the other day about what kind of music to play for your baby to stimulate brain development. I had read several articles like this on while I was pregnant but couldn't recall what the articles said about the types of music that was supposed to be "good." So I was really surprised to read that the best kind of music was melodic and rhythmic like classical or easy-listening stuff. Unfortunately the article advised against playing "rock" and rap music because these genres were too "discordant." Now I make a distinction between rap and hip hop music, just to be clear. Rap is the stuff that gets radio play and isn't necessarily that lyrically and musically creative. Hip hop, on the other hand, is fun to listen to, has a message that is often positive or critical of social issues, and the lyrics are dope. None of this "supaman that ho" crap that has been circulating on the airwaves. I call that crap "radio rap" and it isn't worth listening to, which is probably why I don't listen to much hip hop and rap on the radio anymore. So I was pretty bummed to read this because I love old school hip hop and can't imagine YK not growing up listening to that kind of music as I did.
Then I began to wonder what his musical tastes would turn out like as he grew up. My younger cousins, ages 11-15, for some reason are all into the heavy stuff including metal and a bunch of other new "rock" genres I know nothing about. As far as I can tell none of them listen to hip hop music. They also dress is all the latest trendy neo-punk wear that can be found in any teenie bopper store in the mall. I am not hating on them because I was like that as well when I was their age - only i listened to hip hop music. Of course I went through different music stages when I was younger (and now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps I'm so cranky because I'm going through another "stage" right now?) just like they're probably experiencing now too. Yet it seems to me there is a slight difference: when I was their age, I was listening to everything and I was open to all kinds of music, as I continue to be in adulthood. I don't see them listening to music the same way. A lot of music they listen to seems to be influenced by what their peers are listening to. I guess I should be glad that they're not into radio rap. That would be worst of all.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Prepping for Parenthood - Bringing baby home
Good reference books:
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two (2003) by the Sears Family
Just be aware of that they advocate the “attachment” parenting style, which may or may not be what you and your partner decide to do. I like the charts, lists and sidebars in each chapter, as the book is organized into major baby “issues.”
Your Baby’s First Year (2004) by the American Academy of Pediatrics
I would recommend supplementing what your pediatrician says with resources such as this one and the internet research you may do.
Websites:*
http://www.babycenter.com
Sign up yourself and your partner up for weekly newsletters. This website is a great resource for answers to general questions and information.
http://www.aap/org
The American Academy of Pediatrics website. Tons of terrific info. Check out the Parenting Corner section.
*Be careful with websites. Check the sources for each article to make sure the writer is formally education on the topic that she/he is writing about. Take conversations in open forums with parent Q&A with a grain of salt. Every child is different so what might work for one child may not work for yours. Ultimately you and your partner have to decide what is best and stick with it.
Other stuff:
1. I highly recommend going regularly to a mom support group offered by your hospital as soon as you feel up to it. Meeting other moms and hearing other people’s questions is extremely valuable and will help you get your questions answered as well as anticipate issues that might come up later.
2. Explore local mom groups in our area that aren’t affiliated with your hospital. For example in the Fremont area there is a group called:. These groups are great because you’ll be able to arrange age-appropriate play dates when your child gets older.
3. Get recommendations from people you trust for nannies and daycares. That day will come sooner or later… :(
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two (2003) by the Sears Family
Just be aware of that they advocate the “attachment” parenting style, which may or may not be what you and your partner decide to do. I like the charts, lists and sidebars in each chapter, as the book is organized into major baby “issues.”
Your Baby’s First Year (2004) by the American Academy of Pediatrics
I would recommend supplementing what your pediatrician says with resources such as this one and the internet research you may do.
Websites:*
http://www.babycenter.com
Sign up yourself and your partner up for weekly newsletters. This website is a great resource for answers to general questions and information.
http://www.aap/org
The American Academy of Pediatrics website. Tons of terrific info. Check out the Parenting Corner section.
*Be careful with websites. Check the sources for each article to make sure the writer is formally education on the topic that she/he is writing about. Take conversations in open forums with parent Q&A with a grain of salt. Every child is different so what might work for one child may not work for yours. Ultimately you and your partner have to decide what is best and stick with it.
Other stuff:
1. I highly recommend going regularly to a mom support group offered by your hospital as soon as you feel up to it. Meeting other moms and hearing other people’s questions is extremely valuable and will help you get your questions answered as well as anticipate issues that might come up later.
2. Explore local mom groups in our area that aren’t affiliated with your hospital. For example in the Fremont area there is a group called:
3. Get recommendations from people you trust for nannies and daycares. That day will come sooner or later… :(
Prepping for Parenthood - baby registry strategies
1. Take a friend with kids (more than one ideally) who you trust and ask them to meet you at Babies R Us. Have them walk you through the store to give you an overview of what they think you’ll need while you’re putting together your registry. Don’t bother with clothing yet because you’ll get a lot of that and you won’t know what you’re going to need as of yet. Go crazy with everything else because you can always edit your registry online. Supplement your registry with registries at other places or websites for things you can’t find at BRU. For example, if you’re into green parenting, there are plenty of websites that you can register with that offers specialty items. Also register for gift cards at general places like Target for everyday items. Personal note: I really, really hate BRU for reasons I can get into later so I avoid BRU as much as possible. I do all my shopping at Target, smaller baby stores, and second-hand stores.
2. Borrow as much stuff as possible from friends and take those items off your baby registry. You will be amazed at how fast your baby outgrows or no longer has a need for baby things. Don’t waste your money on things that your baby will only use for a month or so. On the other hand, if the items bring you a night of peaceful sleep – go for it!
3. Save all receipts and ask for gift receipts from friends who give you receipts. Familiarize yourself with return policies at the stores you registered at because they can be jerks about returns.
4. Patronize second hand stores for anything else you may need. Don’t be scared of these places because they make sure all items are cleaned, sanitized, and meet safety standards (they are required to). You can resell your baby items there later on as well.
2. Borrow as much stuff as possible from friends and take those items off your baby registry. You will be amazed at how fast your baby outgrows or no longer has a need for baby things. Don’t waste your money on things that your baby will only use for a month or so. On the other hand, if the items bring you a night of peaceful sleep – go for it!
3. Save all receipts and ask for gift receipts from friends who give you receipts. Familiarize yourself with return policies at the stores you registered at because they can be jerks about returns.
4. Patronize second hand stores for anything else you may need. Don’t be scared of these places because they make sure all items are cleaned, sanitized, and meet safety standards (they are required to). You can resell your baby items there later on as well.
Prepping for Parenthood - Other books and resources of potential interest
Watch:
Dunstan Baby Language DVD, http://www.dunstanbaby.com/
My friend lent this to me one day and I thought it would be totally hokey. Dave and I watched it and was amazed at how much more confident it helped us feel in figuring out what Quincy was crying/fussing about when he was a newborn. Even when we didn’t quite get it right, this video gave us good tools for understanding Quincy. You can find it at second hand baby stores or through illegal torrent websites as it’s probably not worth purchasing at full price.
Other books of potential interest:
Itsy Bitsy Yoga: Poses to Help Your Baby Sleep Longer, Digest Better, and Grow Stronger (2004) by Helen Garabedian
Baby Signs: How to Talk to Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk (3rd ed.) (2004) by Linda Acredolo, Susan Goodwyn and Doug Adams
OR
SIGN with your Baby – Baby Sign Language (ASL) Kit (2005) by Joseph Garcia
I’m looking for a book on post-natal fitness so I’ll let y’all know what I like when I find it.
Dunstan Baby Language DVD, http://www.dunstanbaby.com/
My friend lent this to me one day and I thought it would be totally hokey. Dave and I watched it and was amazed at how much more confident it helped us feel in figuring out what Quincy was crying/fussing about when he was a newborn. Even when we didn’t quite get it right, this video gave us good tools for understanding Quincy. You can find it at second hand baby stores or through illegal torrent websites as it’s probably not worth purchasing at full price.
Other books of potential interest:
Itsy Bitsy Yoga: Poses to Help Your Baby Sleep Longer, Digest Better, and Grow Stronger (2004) by Helen Garabedian
Baby Signs: How to Talk to Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk (3rd ed.) (2004) by Linda Acredolo, Susan Goodwyn and Doug Adams
OR
SIGN with your Baby – Baby Sign Language (ASL) Kit (2005) by Joseph Garcia
I’m looking for a book on post-natal fitness so I’ll let y’all know what I like when I find it.
Prepping for Parenthood - Books to read while pregnant
What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2008) by Heidi Murkoff
This book is a pretty good monthly guide for your pregnancy. I would read parts of it to share with Dave as each month progressed and he seemed to learn a lot. I wouldn’t be too paranoid about using it as a strict guideline but the overviews do give you a general sense of what to expect (as the title indicates). Also the book has a great section in the back about potential complications, for those of you who are a bit worriesome.
Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality (2005) By Laura Jana and Jennifer Shu
I really like this book. This book got us through the first month of hell. It is easy to read and written with just enough detail if you procrastinated reading it until after the baby is born and you’re brain dead from sleep deprivation.
Nursing Mother’s Companion (2005 or whatever is the latest edition) by Kathleen Huggins
This book is a terrific in-depth guide to everything you need to know about breastfeeding. I like how the book is organized into months so you can read as much as you think you’re need and then return to it at a later date when your baby is older. This book has a great section in the back with medications and drugs to look out for when nursing. I go back and consult this book every once in awhile to this date. Any of the editions will be fine to read; the more recent ones just have more pictures and information on things like pumps and gadgets.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (2005) by Marc Weisbluth
Please note that you should talk to your partner about which sleep training methods you want to try out based on how your child’s temperament develops. Note that this book may not be suitable for a colicky, preemie, or highly sensitive child.* If you decide that your baby has the right temperament, start off from day one with a plan on how to help your child learn necessary sleep skills by reading this book. This book offers advice on the range of approaches but ultimately advocates the “cry it out” method. I really like this book but if you’re not into studies and research that the author cites as evidence like I am, skip through and go straight to the how tos and anecdotal parts. Also be warned that the book isn’t very well organized so you’ll have to flip back and forth between sections a lot.
*In conjunction with this book you may want to read or at least skim books on other sleep training methods:
No-Cry Method: No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night (2002) by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears
Ferber or “Graduated” Method: Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition (2006) by Richard Ferber
Combined No-Cry/Ferber Method: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (2005) by Tracy Hogg
Other coping strategies: The Happiest Baby On the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Sleep Longer (2003) by Harvey Karp
Raising Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth and Baby Care (2007) by Alan Greene
Even if you’re not into eco-friendly living, this book gives a wonderful overview of issues related to food, chemicals and potentially harmful substances that might affect your baby. Knowing some of this stuff before may be helpful especially if you find out that your baby has allergies or is sensitive to the environment and when you’re deciding what products to buy.
This book is a pretty good monthly guide for your pregnancy. I would read parts of it to share with Dave as each month progressed and he seemed to learn a lot. I wouldn’t be too paranoid about using it as a strict guideline but the overviews do give you a general sense of what to expect (as the title indicates). Also the book has a great section in the back about potential complications, for those of you who are a bit worriesome.
Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality (2005) By Laura Jana and Jennifer Shu
I really like this book. This book got us through the first month of hell. It is easy to read and written with just enough detail if you procrastinated reading it until after the baby is born and you’re brain dead from sleep deprivation.
Nursing Mother’s Companion (2005 or whatever is the latest edition) by Kathleen Huggins
This book is a terrific in-depth guide to everything you need to know about breastfeeding. I like how the book is organized into months so you can read as much as you think you’re need and then return to it at a later date when your baby is older. This book has a great section in the back with medications and drugs to look out for when nursing. I go back and consult this book every once in awhile to this date. Any of the editions will be fine to read; the more recent ones just have more pictures and information on things like pumps and gadgets.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (2005) by Marc Weisbluth
Please note that you should talk to your partner about which sleep training methods you want to try out based on how your child’s temperament develops. Note that this book may not be suitable for a colicky, preemie, or highly sensitive child.* If you decide that your baby has the right temperament, start off from day one with a plan on how to help your child learn necessary sleep skills by reading this book. This book offers advice on the range of approaches but ultimately advocates the “cry it out” method. I really like this book but if you’re not into studies and research that the author cites as evidence like I am, skip through and go straight to the how tos and anecdotal parts. Also be warned that the book isn’t very well organized so you’ll have to flip back and forth between sections a lot.
*In conjunction with this book you may want to read or at least skim books on other sleep training methods:
No-Cry Method: No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night (2002) by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears
Ferber or “Graduated” Method: Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition (2006) by Richard Ferber
Combined No-Cry/Ferber Method: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (2005) by Tracy Hogg
Other coping strategies: The Happiest Baby On the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Sleep Longer (2003) by Harvey Karp
Raising Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth and Baby Care (2007) by Alan Greene
Even if you’re not into eco-friendly living, this book gives a wonderful overview of issues related to food, chemicals and potentially harmful substances that might affect your baby. Knowing some of this stuff before may be helpful especially if you find out that your baby has allergies or is sensitive to the environment and when you’re deciding what products to buy.
Prepping for Parenthood - My advice
Some friends have asked me about prepping for parenthood resources so I thought I'd post them here in separate sections.
My caveat:
I am a mama that likes to read a lot of different books, articles, etc. before I make a decision about doing things a certain way, so you’ll find that this list is somewhat substantive. If it’s too overwhelming for you, just read whatever you think will be most helpful and consult the related materials if you feel like you need more in-depth information. You can always ring me if you want the one-minute breakdown of the book to see if it’s worth your time as well. Please, please feel free to talk to me about whatever you’re going through if you have any concerns or questions. I promise not to judge you, act like your doctor or a know-it-all mom.
My caveat:
I am a mama that likes to read a lot of different books, articles, etc. before I make a decision about doing things a certain way, so you’ll find that this list is somewhat substantive. If it’s too overwhelming for you, just read whatever you think will be most helpful and consult the related materials if you feel like you need more in-depth information. You can always ring me if you want the one-minute breakdown of the book to see if it’s worth your time as well. Please, please feel free to talk to me about whatever you’re going through if you have any concerns or questions. I promise not to judge you, act like your doctor or a know-it-all mom.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The disappearance of March
Where did March go? This post has stayed in draft form for so long that I have to completely start over and re-write it. I thought I'd pay respects to the month of March, in which I did not write a single blog post. I mourn the passing of this month and my inability to squeeze out at least one posting. What was I doing during these 31 days? Let's see... I was writing a conference paper, spending weekends overnight with the 'rents in SF, I got buzzed for the first time in almost a year at GNO, and I started writing several "pieces" that are set to be published this fall. I guess this list is a good excuse for not blogging in over 30 days. I guess I shouldn't feel guilt about not blogging, but regardless the guilt nags at me. I wake up every day and wish I could spend time writing about the things that wander through my brain throughout the day. I actually looked into work-at-home jobs a couple of times and discovered tons of jobs out there for "freelance writers." For a hot second I dreamt about being a full-time blogger/internet writer. Then I got scared because I didn't want to work for money on one of the few things I loved to do with my always illusive "free" time.
I think I also dreamed about working other jobs during the month of March too. I had lengthy discussion with M about what kinds of jobs were other there for a person with my credentials. We talked for awhile and couldn't think of anything. That was depressing. I spent couple of days being depressed about that. I also spent time at the two mom groups I go to weekly. The women there are terrific and I'm glad I've made some good friends there. I almost forgot - at the beginning of March I started YK's "sleep training," which has been very effective (thanks Dr. Weissbluth). At least one of us is getting in three naps during the day and at least ten hours of sleep at night.
Other small stuff happened in March worth noting: I purchased a Macbook towards the end of the month and I spent several weeks in computer-transition-limbo which was absolute hell. I finally managed to transfer all my iTunes music over just last week. Now I can finally say goodbye to my laptop PC, even though it still lives on my desk, besides my new Macbook.
Time just seems to pass me by so quickly sometimes. I promise myself to write more for myself in the future. Perhaps I should add that to my news year resolution list that I wrote, what, back in February??
I think I also dreamed about working other jobs during the month of March too. I had lengthy discussion with M about what kinds of jobs were other there for a person with my credentials. We talked for awhile and couldn't think of anything. That was depressing. I spent couple of days being depressed about that. I also spent time at the two mom groups I go to weekly. The women there are terrific and I'm glad I've made some good friends there. I almost forgot - at the beginning of March I started YK's "sleep training," which has been very effective (thanks Dr. Weissbluth). At least one of us is getting in three naps during the day and at least ten hours of sleep at night.
Other small stuff happened in March worth noting: I purchased a Macbook towards the end of the month and I spent several weeks in computer-transition-limbo which was absolute hell. I finally managed to transfer all my iTunes music over just last week. Now I can finally say goodbye to my laptop PC, even though it still lives on my desk, besides my new Macbook.
Time just seems to pass me by so quickly sometimes. I promise myself to write more for myself in the future. Perhaps I should add that to my news year resolution list that I wrote, what, back in February??
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