Doggie trauma

I was determined to give out candy this Wednesday for Halloween. I especially love little tiny kids in their cute costumes. The kids that put in the most effort and really get into Halloween warm my heart. The rest of the stupid teenagers that show up at my door dressed up as... NOTHING... really irk me to death. Last year D made fun of me because I actually turned away some teenagers who showed up with no costume asking for candy. He said I was a total grinch. So this year, I decided to encourage the little slackers by giving them some candy and telling them they have to try a little harder. I think I'm gonna be a bitch next year and turn away the stupid un-costumed teenagers. Let's see which approach has better effect.

So I got back at my usual time on Wednesday. The train arrived promptly at 610p in Fremont and I have to give it up to Amtrak for being quite consistently on time in the evenings. The mornings are another issue. I'm just glad I don't have to get to class until 10a because right now, they're at about a 50% on time rate in the mornings. So I got back just after dusk around 645p. D was about 5 minutes ahead of me so when I got home, the candy bowl was already filled with treats. I decided to go with a Twizzlers mix and a chocolate variety including Butterfinger, Nestle Crunch, Baby Ruth, and 1000 Grand. Yum, my faves.

D disabled the doorbell because we still haven't figured out why Obi gets so scared when the doorbell rings. It's probably the Halloween costumes from last year that freaked him out. Our next door neighbor came to visit with their two little ones who dressed respectively in a purple dinosaur costume and a green frog costume. When they approached Obi, I think he got really confused by the furry human-smelling "animals" that were trying to pet him. His immediately went into shivers and hid in the corner with his tail tucked in. Poor thing.

So to this day, I haven't been able to get him to unlearn the fear he probably associates with the doorbell. I thought maybe if I expose him to the trick-o-treaters a little more this year, he'll get over it. Boy was I wrong.

A bunch of little kids came around 645p. Groups of stupid teenagers as well. The best costume was a tie between this little kid who was dressed as a pirate (or maybe a musketeer in brown) and this other kid who was a human banana. When I asked the little pirate/musketeer if he liked Twizzlers or chocolate, he replied: mrfliderudoptem.

I replied: I'm sorry honey, I don't understand. Do you like chocolate or twizzler?
Pirate kid: mrflideruotempug. gumdimoutrflrug. sumfligtorpidirtop.
Mother steps in: chocolate honey?
Pirate kid: gumderplofidler. slopidertipum.
Mother, to me: he wants chocolate.

I laughed as I gave him the chocolate and he mumbled something else unintelligible, which I just took as his way of saying thanks. What a cutie.

The kid who came as a banana cracked me up. His face poked out of a cut-out circle in the banana and his arms were the peels. I gave him extra candy for having such an awesome costume. Obi, on the other hand, did not think the kid had a good costume. Instead, he panicked and shot out the door before D and I realized what had happened.

Chaos ensued.

It was 7p now and kids, parents, and cars filled the streets. Our neighborhood is very popular in the area because we are a newer cookie cutter development, and the neighbors are all really nice and generous with the candy. It's relatively safe for everyone to walk around because all the streets are cul-de-sacs or loop back. Welcome to suburbia.

I quickly put down the candy bowl and took off after Obi. Pushing past trick-o-treaters, I had already lost sight of which way he went. The banana told me Obi went out towards the main street. I panicked because huge trucks and tons of cars travel through that the major street we live adjacent to. Thoughts of smushed Obi came to mind.

I immediately rushed over to the Fed Ex warehouse where Obi had run away to last time he slipped through Dave's hands. I thought he would go there because it was a familiar place, but I knew that he was freaked out and probably had no idea where he was going. I knew looking for him would be in vain but I had to try nonetheless. D followed me and I immediately sent him back to lock the door and turn off the lights so people wouldn't keep coming. Everything you see in movies is totally not me - I send my man back and tell him to wait for me at home while I put myself in harm's way to find our little doggie! It's so funny how I reacted.

I searched all around the warehouses the next block down but I couldn't find Obi. I hurried back home and D was gone. My heart sank again. I had run after Obi without keys or cell phone. I was locked out with the rest of the trick-o-treaters. Some kids started up my driveway as I banged on the door. I knew D wouldn't be there because the car was gone from the front of the house. He probably drove off somewhere. We were definitely on the same page- both of us running around like chickens with our heads cut off, no communication whatsoever!

I told the kids in the driveway that I was locked and one of them asked if I wanted to use his cell phone. Bless his heart because I knew D was probably in the same situation like me - so caught up in finding Obi that he didn't bring his cell phone either. I later found out I was right. He took off in the car over to the Fed Ex warehouse just as I did. Funny how we both thought to go there first. I made the call on the cell phone but knew he wouldn't answer. I took a chance that he was his usual absentminded self and went through the side gate. Victory! The back patio door was unlocked.

I let myself back into the kitchen and realized that the fish sticks we were cooking for dinner were still cooking away in the oven. We were such champs - the oven was still on at 425 degrees, ready to burn the house down. I threw open the oven and luckily the fish sticks were on the cooked side but not completely a loss. I ran upstairs and got my cell phone, wallet, and 9 inch mag-light to hit the streets again. As I did this, D came pulling into the drive way. We regrouped and decided to head out to the main road in the car to do another sweep.

I got out and walked most of the way back because I wanted to revisit some of the places I thought Obi would be at. Everywhere I went was complete silence. Nothing at all. No doggie. I was beginning to fear the worst.

All along the way, I asked people if they saw Obi. I'd describe him and people were super-nice. I think they felt bad for me because they knew that Halloween was a crappy time to lose a dog. People are crazy and mean on Halloween because they have license to be that way. That's why I make sure Mookie is upstairs, away from the crazy people who can be really mean to black cats on Halloween. Dogs also get hurt during Halloween so I pictured some mean kids torturing Obi. My mind kept on going to the worst images, which made my stress and anxiety increase.

I never experienced someone close to me go missing before so these emotions were completely new. Even thought Obi is a pet, D and I adore him so much. We're not those kinds of pet owners who lavishly spoil their dog but we've spent a lot of time with Obi and he has become a part of our lives.

I don't know what time I came back. After following up on leads, my legs were sore and aching. I had probably walked through our community at least 4 times. I didn't want to give up but my legs were really tired. I hadn't eaten dinner yet and I was really thirsty. So I came home. D was munching on the semi-burnt fish sticks and I couldn't bring myself to eat. I felt sick from guilt. I felt as if I was negligent. I played the blame game quite well and decided that I was an unfit pet owner. D calmed me down and told me to stop it because these things happen. He was so right. I could tell he was feeling bad about it too because he ate everything in sight (nervous habit of his).

As I tried to eat, we calmed our nerves by joking about where Obi could possibly be. I said he's probably asleep on someone's comfy lawnchair. D thought he was enjoying his freedom by running around with a bunch of other dogs who had gotten out. I thought he was probably stealing candy bags from kids. We laughed uncomfortably.

We went out for one last search of the neighborhood. D felt a little better knowing that people had spotted Obi in the neighborhood. At least he wasn't running around on the main street. Everywhere we went, I was aching to see a little brown furry dog come out of the bushes. But nothing came out of the bushes except for some very scared looking cats. I felt bad for them.

We came home and decided that I would sleep downstairs to lookout for Obi, just in case he found his way back and scratched at the door to be let in. We left the front and back lights on and the side gate unlatched and hoped for the best. I couldn't sleep for a long time but ultimately dozed off from exhaustion.

After waking up and dozing off a dozen times, I finally fell into a deep sleep. At about 545a I was awakened by familiar barking and howls. Obi had found his way back into the yard! Smart dog. I jumped off the couch and ran over to the door. I couldn't believe it - Obi was standing there looking at me. I opened the patio door and he came in. I yelled: Obi! and grabbed him and held him close to me. D heard me and came running down. Obi smelled like tires and exhaust but I didn't care- I didn't want to ever let him go again.

In retrospect, I've learned a lot about myself and D from this highly traumatic experience. I learned that when I panic, I turn into a woman on a mission and there is no stopping me from what I want to do. I also realized that D and I don't communicate very well in traumatic situations. We probably need to work on that more. I am still a bit traumatized from the entire thing. There is a part of me that doesn't want to let Obi out even into the yard because I'm afraid he'll run away again. I also still feel guilt for letting him slip out. I know I shouldn't blame myself for any of this, but it's still hard because I feel very responsible for him. I think it's going to be awhile before I fully trust him again. Or perhaps I should have never trusted him as much I did in the first place? Either way, I am comforted with the knowledge that Obi knows how to find his way home. So if anything were to happen again, at least I can have hope that he'll be able to come home on his own.